Why Disagreement Makes Relationships Stronger: The Power of Friction

No matter how close you get to someone — how much love, trust, or history you share — there will come a moment when you don’t see eye to eye.

It’s not a flaw. It’s not a failure. It’s what makes the relationship real.

Think about it — you don’t even agree with yourself half the time.

You wrestle with indecision. You second-guess your choices. You contradict your own values. You make promises to yourself you don’t always keep,

Even if you believe in a perfect being like Jesus Christ, you know how hard it is to stay perfectly aligned with him — how easy it is to drift from the path.

So why do we expect perfect harmony with another imperfect person.

We fantasize about finding people who “just get us” — someone who never challenges us, never disagrees, never disrupts our worldview.

But that fantasy is fragile.

Because sameness doesn’t make relationships stronger. Friction does.

The best friendships?

They’re made of playful jabs, philosophical debates, inside jokes.

• You like pineapple on pizza. They think it’s a crime.

• You dress baggy. They dress old-money.

• You listen to Kendrick. They listen to Drake.

• You’re an early bird. They’re a night owl.

• LeBron is your GOAT. MJ (the correct answer) is theirs.

Contrasts like this spark energy. They give texture to conversations, fuel laughter, and reveal depth.

Imagine a world where everyone mirrored your thoughts, your beliefs, your habits.

At first, it might feel comforting.

But soon, it would feel… lifeless.

There’d be no new perspectives.

No tension. No growth. Just an echo chamber of your own thoughts on repeat.

And that’s not connection. That’s narcissism in disguise.

The truth is: What makes us human is the fact that we’re not all the same.

• We come from different stories.

• We carry different scars.

• We wear different dreams.

That’s what makes life interesting. That’s what makes love complex. That’s what makes friendship beautiful.

So here’s a truth worth remembering:

This is the 13th installment in my project of publishing a mini essay every day to achieve 100 public pieces. Check out the full list here, and the previous letter here.

If you liked this post, I’m sharing more unfiltered lessons as a 17-year-old trying to figure this whole life thing out — check my other socials here🫡.